Out of Depression Era Ohio comes a child, battered, sexually abused and betrayed by those who were supposed to protect her: her parents, her grandfather and uncle. Subjected to inhumanity so dark and horrific, she learns at an early age to survive by turning to art and music.
Propelled by fear and rage she flees her nightmare existence. It leads down paths of self destruction, including marriage to an abusive artist, mental collapse and divorce.
In Florida, another marriage to a sadistic religious cult leader, who fathers her third child and moves them to Panama, ends only after he threatens to kill her and the children.
Returning to Sarasota, she continues to paint and exhibit. A third wedding takes her to California and Japan. But success is blunted by crippling memories, chronic anxiety and depression.
Only after finding refuge in the safety of a remote mountain home is she able to confront her past and heal her robbed childhood.
Embodying all the resilience of the human spirit, this extraordinary, powerful memoir not only inspires, but exposes and clarifies the psychological impact and seemingly insurmountable obstacles that survivors of sexual abuse must overcome in order to heal.
Born in 1935, Carole Estrup decided at age three to be an artist. Her lengthy career has merited awards, exhibitions and commissions in both the U.S. and abroad. For the past 30 years she has lived in the Southern Sierras with her husband of 42 years, a writer.