After suffering the traumatic loss of his child to abortion the day before his twenty-fifth birthday in 1999, William found himself in a mental and emotional whirlwind of despair and regret, of depression and guilt. Nothing could prepare him for the devastating experience of losing a child and the emotions he would encounter in the aftermath. The many thoughts and emotions that he experienced after the abortion were becoming far too much for his mind to contain. Eighteen months after the abortion, he began writing letters to the child he lost as a desperate cry for help.
Realizing the purpose behind the pain, William battled every emotional demon imaginable to document his journey. He knew he wasn’t alone in his grief. He wanted others who have suffered from the loss of their children to abortion to know that they too, were not alone. He worked on this journey over the course of ten years. He has seen the depths of an emotional hell, in which he questioned his own will to live.
Dearest Angel … is the document of his journey; a journey of regret and repair, of grief and gratitude, and of hurt and healing.
June 6, 2000 Dear Angel, I was thinking about dreams today. I am often unable to recall my dreams. However, on a rare occasion, I’ll have a significant dream and will then be able to recall it vividly. I’m certain a couple of dreams occurred as a result of my emotions surrounding your demise. One dream that I remember vividly is this: I found myself in a somewhat plain room. I believe there were only the normal items one might find; a bed, dresser, closet, mirror and window. I was standing on one side of a bed. There was an individual who appeared to be an adult male sitting upright with his feet on the floor. He had short black curly hair. The most significant characteristic, however, was that this person had no arms. I recall floating around to face this individual. This person appeared to be male, as I said. But even at this point I could not tell for certain. This person, most significantly was without the features of a face. However, I seem to recall a painful feeling as this person may have been attempting to scream. That’s all I remember from that dream. Thought for the day: You’re the most significant dream I’ll never forget. Love, Me. * I was reminded of this dream as I read the following passage by author Tom Golden: "With the death of a child, for example, the parents are in the belly of grief for years. ........This kind of loss leaves behind the old metaphor for grief which is that of a wound, and brings forth a different image: that of an amputation. Dealing with a loss like the death of a child is more like learning how to live after a part of you has been cut off than it is like healing from a wound." – Tom Golden from Swallowed By a Snake
William D. Zimmerman is a freelance writer, blogger, and the author of numerous articles for AssociatedContent.com. A countless number of journal pages have resulted in his first nonfiction book. He currently lives in southern Illinois near St. Louis, Missouri with his wife, son, and three stepsons.