Living with Reality
Who We Are, What We Could Be, How We Get There
Perfect Bound Softcover
Many of us know we need to change, but how do we do it? Spiritual teacher and intuitive counselor Beth Maynard Green offers a thorough, compassionate, and practical guide to personal and collective transformation. This step-by-step handbook gives solutions for overcoming ego domination, becoming happier and more relaxed, and achieving higher consciousness. It blends new and old wisdom in ways that are fresh yet familiar. In Section 1 of Living with Reality, Maynard Green shares original insights into who we are and includes the genesis of the ego, the development of our personalities from birth, the roles of fear and pain, and the causes of addiction. Section 2 provides a program for change and discusses • challenging yet commonsense paradigms • clear explanations of our habitual behavior patterns and ways to break them • practices that make us more relaxed, happy, and supportive to our world • self-help exercises, including detailed questions for self-reflection • techniques to access higher consciousness Practical and powerful, Living with Reality is a manual for living and a vehicle for both group and individual study and transformation. Read it! Live it!
If suffering were sufficient motivation for change, humanity would have transformed a long time ago. Have you ever found yourself compelled to behave in a way that you knew would hurt yourself or others, but you just couldn’t stop yourself? Eaten the wrong thing? Married or slept with the wrong person? Said something that you knew would be shaming and/or counterproductive? Avoided a conversation long overdue? Did you feel baffled by your action at the time? Did you kick yourself later? Or did you go into denial and blame someone else for the negative outcome? You and I have created needless pain, and so has everyone else. Sometimes we are the only ones to suffer the consequences; sometimes we hurt a lot of other people along the way. Sometimes our actions are individual, such as buying the widescreen TV when our bank account is empty; sometimes our actions are collective, such as when the auto industry focused on SUVs and gas-guzzling vehicles in the face of global warming. Sometimes we create pain through our actions, such as driving when drunk; sometimes we inflict harm through our words, such as demeaning someone who is already vulnerable. Many of us are aware that we create needless pain, and we’re trying to do something about it. The popularity of personal counseling, twelve-step programs, self-help books, and other healing modalities points to our desire for self-transformation. Through our experience, we have learned a lot about what works. For example, we know we need to: • Acknowledge that much of our suffering is self-created • Embrace a positive vision of what is possible • Utilize tools and techniques that enable us to fulfill that potential • Support ourselves and one another so that we can accomplish together what we can't face alone But if we have the tools, motivation, and support, why are we still so often stuck in our old destructive and self-destructive patterns? Why are we still addictive, reactive, and focused on short-term gain, rather than long-term sustainability? Why are we alienated from ourselves, depressed, anxious, and stressed? Why do we continue to overeat? Why do so many women still wear uncomfortable clothes? Why do so many men still drink beer instead of talk about their feelings? Why do we continue to compete rather than cooperate, worry about how we look more than how we feel, demonize one another rather than acknowledge our similarities, and fight reality, rather than learn to relax into the process of living? In other words, why do we all still do stupid things? And we human beings all do them – one or one hundred destructive and self-destructive behaviors. When we’re not in denial of these destructive behaviors, we often busily blame one another for it. When we’re not blaming one another, we tend to blame ourselves. One thing is clear: If so many of us are stuck in the old patterns, the problem cannot be rooted in our individual psyche. It must be rooted in the way we are designed as human beings. For example, if only a few people were compulsive eaters or anorexic, we could assume that those individuals had unusual physiological or emotional characteristics that affected their eating. But we know that is not the case, because millions of people have food disorders. Similarly, if the only addiction we had was food disorders, we could assume that human beings had a particular physiological or emotional tendency to be compulsive about food. But we know that is not the case; we can be and are addicted to many substances. And if our only negative behaviors were related to addictions to substances, we could conclude that human beings have a tendency to become addicted to certain chemicals, such as those found in alcohol, drugs, or food. But we know this is also not the case; we are equally addicted to behaviors, such as gambling, overwork, thrill-seeking, and escapism. We also compulsively shop, worry, self-sabotage, abuse, criticize, and act out sexually. Individually and collectively, we human beings suffer from the compulsion to behave in ways that often hurt us and others, and these ingrained behaviors are difficult to break. Part of the difficulty, of course, is that we are patterned physiologically – either through genetic inheritance or repetition. But even when we are able to overcome the physiological addiction, we are still patterned psychologically. And when we try to change, we meet our own resistance – the tendency to cling to the same behavior over and over regardless of the negative result. What’s worse, we often deny that our actions are causing those negative results, which is evident when talking to couples where each party blames the other for their misery. We should not shame ourselves about this tendency to stay stuck in destructive behavior. It is clearly a human phenomenon. But we do want to change it. To change, first we have to confront our denial of our dysfunction. Then, once we get past our denial, we have to face our shame. Once we have released our shame, we can commit to transformation. So the bottom line is: If we could finally admit the sorry state of human consciousness, including our own, we could look into the psyche of humanity in order to understand why we resist self-awareness and positive change, individually as well as collectively, and we could then use our understanding of the human psyche in order to develop strategies to overcome that resistance and really support us to transform. Living with Reality provides a comprehensive, compassionate, step-by-step roadmap to the human psyche and its reprogramming and transformation. But before opening the map, we need to understand and overcome our resistance to using it. Let’s confront that resistance now. Why Do We Resist Self-Awareness and Change?
Beth Maynard Green is a spiritual teacher, an intuitive counselor, an educator, and the founder of The Stream spiritual community. She and her husband, James, are co-founders of the Center for Healing & Higher Consciousness: Psycho-Intuitive Services & Training. This is her fifth book. For more information, visit her website at www.healingandhigherconsciousness.com.
Living With Reality is a book that can change your life by changing you from the inside out. Green's encyclopedic knowledge of human behavior brings the reader into a new understanding and a new compassion for ourselves and each other. With the step-by-step tools and exercises, we can transform this new understanding into new habits and thoughts. Read it, use it, keep it beside you. It has changed my life and those of many others!8kv6z
Helen Hillix-Di Santo
Living with Reality is a modern masterpiece that can change the way we work, the way we live and the way we are. So many of our challenges today (climate change, political gridlock and polarization, species extinction, destruction of ecosystems, etc.) are a result of seeing ourselves as separate and being blind to our impact on the whole. That was the case for me when I started reading this book. This book not only shows us how we are one, but how to live our oneness on a daily basis. It's one thing to say we are one with the people we love and the people with whom we have affinity and affection. What about those with whom we disagree? Those whose views we can't stand? Through practical, down to earth exercises, this book shows us how to to change, how to live in a higher state of consciousness, with both compassion and courage and support the same in others. This is truly a life changing book if practiced and internalized. It should be required reading for everyone.
Eddy, thanks for your input. Awareness is the first step. Here's a tip. Intentionally make yorlseuf complete the task you start. Many people are good at starting projects. However, the initiative and the ability to see a task through to completion is the big separator. Once you intentionally make yorlseuf start finishing projects completely you will get a great sense of satisfaction. This will make it easier next time. Over a period of time this will become a habit and you will earn a reputation as a doer, a mover and a shaker who gets things done. And it becomes fun!
Perfect Bound Softcover