No one knows how unpredictable first graders can be better than a first-grade teacher. In Mommy Couldn’t Find Her Eyelashes, retired elementary educator Mary Jane Fizer shares excerpts from written papers and some of her favorite amusing and poignant conversations with her first-grade students, providing an unforgettable glimpse into the innocent, often uncensored minds and imaginations of children.
Fizer relies on more than forty years of experience in a classroom environment to offer a diverse compilation of funny sayings and heartfelt moments she experienced with her students. From the student who said he wanted to be both the President of the United States and a forklift operator to the boy who announced that he needed to see the nurse because he thought he had head lights, Fizer recalls the unpredictable moments of every day she spent in front of a classroom serving not only as a teacher, but also as a role model, stand-in mother, and a source of information who had to somehow find a creative answer to every creative question.
Mommy Couldn’t Find Her Eyelashes is a delightful collection of quotes from children that encourages all of us to find the pure happiness in every day—even when we are all grown up.
One of the boys in my class usually gets all the words correct on the weekly spelling test, but on one particular Friday, he missed all the words but one. All the words were from the same word family so they all ended wih the same three letters, but there was no logic to the combination of letters he had put down for each word after the first one, which was correct. I questioned him about what happened to cause him to get so many words wrong, and, without any hesitation at all, he said, "My kindergarten teacher taught me so much that my brain is so full that if I put anything else in it, it will explode!" A child was having trouble solving two-digit addition problems one day and I asked her why she couldn't do the problems. She said, "Because I don't have sixty-two fingers and this number is sixty-two!" A writing prompt one day was "Why do birds fly south for the winter?" One girl's response was, "Because it is too far to walk, and because they would freeze their butts off if they didn't."
Mary Jane Fizer earned a bachelor’s degree in elementary education from Concord College in Athens, West Virginia, and a master’s degree in elementary education from George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. She spent the last forty years of her teaching career in Prince William County Schools in Woodbridge, Virginia, where she still resides today.